About
Earlier today, while not doing the work that I am so handsomely paid to do, I was reading through some old LiveJournal posts I made in 2001. While I chuckled in amusement at many of my naive beliefs (Colony on Mars by 2007? What was I thinking?), I was also shrieking in horror like a blond woman in a black and white monster movie. Back then, I was embarrassingly whiny. I was desperate for attention. I was, in short, pretty annoying.
And my kids could read all about it on the Internet.
See, my wife is pregnant with our first (known) child. That child, barring me doing anything terribly illegal, will grow up to be an adult. This adult will likely know significantly more about the Future Internet than I will in my old curmudgeonly state. I’ll lose all ability to properly discipline the child if they read about how much I slacked off in college, or how much I lusted after women who are not their mom.
But seriously, Future Son, I got tons of tail. Loads.
But this got me thinking. What do I want our child to know about their father, when they crack the mysteries of the Future Internet? Sure, they’ll probably just be looking at porn, but they might toss my name into Google Live Search and find something. Right now, it’s mostly about a drummer in England who is most definitely not me.
But what if they found a blog? What if they found a blog that detailed every bowel movement they made as a baby? Every time they had an “oopsie”? How awesome would it be to show that to any date that he/she brings home?
Pretty awesome.
So that is the spirit in which this blog has been started. So all of my Future Children take note: this is your father speaking….through time. If it’s past midnight, go to bed already. If you’re looking at naughty things on the Internet, make sure I don’t have to see it. And if you’re the fifth child, you were an accident.
And if you’re living in a Mars colony in the year 2013, I totally called it.
